They Missed a Love Language or Two...

I apologize in advance for any typos in this. It was 1:35 AM, and I am not proofreading this right now.

This weekend has been a busy one. I got to spend time with friends, with myself, with God, with music, and with the kitchen. I'm convinced that there is an additional love language: food. It has to be. Nothing says fellowship more than sharing a meal together. One of my favorite things to do is cook for people (because it is late, when I first typed that, it said "one of my favorite things to do is cook people"... Please know that I do not in fact cook people). I don't really know what it is, but I absolutely love. I hate cooking when I'm the only one eating it. I think part of it is knowing that college students love a home-cooked meal. I know that by doing that, I am loving them. Another part of is that I secretly love to show off. I can hear Lizzy thinking "what part of that is a secret?". Rude. But I do. I love cooking "extravagant" things for people. Truthfully, none of it is extravagant; it just seems extravagant. I love things that seem impressive, but actually require very little work. My somewhat recent good friend Andrew came over Friday night, and we ate dinner together. After that, we went to try to see Home Run. All we knew about it is that it involved Young Life in some way. It was sold out, so we saw Olympus has Fallen. Andrew bought my ticket in exchange for dinner. Welcome to the Man-date. Best thing ever. I was not mentally prepared for the movie. So intense. But so good. Anyway, after that, I went to a choir party and brought a dessert I had made. It was another super simple thing that people love. And I love sharing that with people. Fun was had by all. Winner.

On Saturday, I got to share my love of music with people. I played for a really talented senior in high school at her senior recital. It was a joy. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't charge people for accompanying, because I really love it and I love providing that service for people. However, that feeling is generally short-lived. But the love that I feel lasts for quite a while. In addition to that, I got to perform with my quartet, the Shockappellas, today. We sang the national anthem at a WSU softball game. I think the love that is formed when you achieve something together is my favorite. I truly cannot articulate what those guys have come to mean to me in the short time we have been working together. I love them. We rely on each other in performance and out of performance. From a professional standpoint, we must count on each other to learn parts, be on time, and communicate about performances and rehearsals. From a friendship standpoint, we all watch out for each other. I know I could call on them to help me in a bind. We laugh together almost more than we sing. And when we achieve something great, it is almost always followed up by a hug - both group hug and individual hugs. I truly wish that each of you gets to experience something like this group.

A confrontational love is one of the hardest loves to accept. Problems WILL arise in relationships. It is just the way things go. Handling those problems is when things get tricky. I am always a firm believer in speaking one's mind, especially in situations where something is amiss. Saturday night, I had the opportunity to practice what I preach. It was difficult. I'd like to think that it gets easier, but that isn't really the case. The only redeeming quality of confronting conflict is that reconciliation often comes quickly after. Many people prefer to sweep things under the rug, so to speak. Believe me when I say this: You can't do that your whole life. I mean, you can, but it is just not worth it. Things never resolve. And when they don't resolve, they tend to fester, successfully aggrandizing the issue. No es bueno. I truly can't decide which is more difficult: initiating or receiving confrontation. Neither are easy. Both are necessary. Both are easier when you trust the conversation is stemming from a place of love.

You will probably read about this idea of filling a need for someone a lot in this blog. And when I say filling a need, that can be anything. I fill a need in the music ministry at church. I fill a need for my Mini Me in that I'm his accompanist... and one of his only straight friends (fine arts. not our fault. But we rely on each other for the occasional dose of testosterone). Today at campaigners (bible study with my Young Life guys), we talked about Doubting Thomas. Doubting Thomas is my favorite person in the bible. Not necessarily because he didn't believe, but because of how Jesus reacts.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2020:%2019-31&version=NIV

Thomas needed to see in order to believe, which is a feeling I think we can all relate to, spiritually or not. And what did Jesus do? He showed up. He reached out to Thomas and offered the evidence Thomas needed. Jesus met Thomas exactly where he was, and fulfilled Thomas' need. Jesus didn't ridicule him; he simply provided for Thomas. Wow. It is such a comfort to know that the God of the universe will provide for me in the exact way that I need.

Today, I officially had the opportunity to fulfill a very tangible need for one of my YL guys. He needs help in school, so I am tutoring him. He is a great kid. He told me about his grades, and I immediately felt that I should tutor him. The fact of the matter is that I don't have a lot of time. However, I knew that this was supposed to happen. Today we spent about an hour planning out study schedules, homework schedules, discussing note taking, and studying vocab by relating it to video games. Shenanigans. As I was leaving, I said "I believe in you". His response: "I think I'm starting to believe in myself again". My eyes are filling with tears as I type this. Being there for my YL kid in this way is one of the most humbling experiences. It is the first time one of them has really needed me. I feel like this is just the tiniest glimpse of what Jesus felt for Thomas. Jesus provides for us which, in turn, allows us to provide for others. It is a beautiful thing. All of these "loves" that I have talked about are ways in which I can provide for others. Loving people is different for each person, giving and receiving. But I know one thing. If your eyes are open, you will how to love. Whether it is through Shenanigans, or straightforward, you can see it. People are really bad at hiding what the need. We all wear our hearts on our sleeves. It's just a matter of looking.